The Beauty of Online Grocery Orders
On making technology work for you as a stay-at-home parent
It's a Thursday morning around eight o’ clock. The girls are sipping their smoothies and watching Spidey and Friends on the couch. Emerson (2.5) is naked and has just peed on the floor (we just started potty training.) Evangeline (5) is in the same dress she wore yesterday. A wooden train track lays scattered across the hardwood floors along with a handful of books, dolls, and sticker dolly stickers. Next week, Evangeline will start Kindergarten and Emerson will begin daycare, but today, all we have is a, hot, endless, August day before us. We’ve already been to all the splash pads and pools in the city, the green parks do not beckon as they used to.
I am lying down on the couch, on my phone, but for once, I am not doom scrolling or wasting my time on Tiktok. I am doing productive things! What productive things you might ask? Researching something for my next novel? Checking emails? No. Grocery shopping!
I used to hate grocery shopping, every time I went into the store it was like my mind went blank and I could never remember what I needed, my list would never make sense and I always forgot something, or the girls would frustrate me and I would just bail. Now, one of the most amazing pieces of modern technology available to parents today (which only improved during covid) is the ability to buy groceries online and pick them up, or even get them delivered! (For a fee of course).
I did my best to take the girls into the grocery store for a year or two. It always ended up a disaster. Their little hands were like claws snapping at every little item they could touch or grab. Costco seemed to be better (despite the toll it took on my cortisol levels) because there were less small things to grab. Yeah, you’re not exactly able to move that 10 lb. block of Tillamook cheese or pallet of blacks beans are you kiddos?
One time in Safeway we broke a jar of peanut butter and I was so embarrassed I didn’t even tell anyone about it and, after a swift checkout, changed my phone number, moved two blocks over, and deleted my social media profiles until things cooled down. And shopping was not getting better as they aged. Just last week, the two devils tipped over the entire cart in the frozen food section of New Seasons nearly breaking the bottles of my precious natural wine[1]. I came very close to losing it, but I decided I didn’t want to be on the news later that night of a man freaking out on his kids in public.
So now, I order online. I can edit my cart. Make substitutions. Pick up in the parking lot while the kids remain chained in their car seats.
I feel a little bad about all the online ordering. Not from local grocery store per say, but anytime I also end up ordering something from Amazon or Target. On the one hand, Amazon and their Prime delivery is the perfect solution for the tired and depressed parent who doesn’t want to leave the house with their hellish spawn. On the other hand, they are also the reason why bookstores went out of business and why writers like me struggle to make a living. They drive the prices down and grind people (and Unions) down. Also, despite driving for UPS for a period of time, I feel bad ordering too many things for delivery. In the back of my mind, I know there’s some guy named Buck in a warehouse yelling at some poor immigrant that they need to pick up their goddamn pace because The Rogers Household needs wipes and ass cream stat or else they are going to personally assassinate Jeff Bezos! There is always a price for convenience after all. Sorry Jesús!
We try to keep the online ordering to a minimum now. Or do fun things like shopping at Farmers Markets, like we did this past Saturday. The girls could try samples and move around a bit more freely. We even saw someone walking a bearded lizard!
I guess this is just a reminder to let technology work for you, not the other way around.
[1] Sidenote, I’m not sure if it’s coincidental to becoming a stay-at-home, but I did switch from beer to wine in the last couple years and now enjoy a dry crisp rosé, or chilled natural orange or white wine more than any beer.
Prioritizing your own sanity is never a mistake. never.