On November 30th, The New York Times podcast The Daily produced an episode called “The Bad Vibes Around a Good Economy,” attempting to explain the mystery of why many people are not feeling great about the economy. The show investigates why, despite the U.S. economy showing signs of “strength”—whatever that means—and despite inflation going down somewhat, many people’s outlook right now feels anything but stable or “good” in relation to money.
The show points to a few reasons why this could be: First, while inflation is “down” compared to a year ago, the cost of goods is still higher than it was three years ago. Second, housing rates and interest rates have gone up, making it almost impossible for younger millennials to purchase homes. There’s also student loan repayments and, in general, business has slowed everywhere since covid along with an increase to the cost to produce goods.
In Portland, Oregon, where I live, business at most food and restaurant establishments has been slower in 2023 than many expected coming out of covid. Many places have gone out of business and are continuing to. Even if there was a financial bump for many of these businesses over the summer or over the Holidays, it’s easy to imagine that come the doldrums of January, even more businesses are going to be on death row.
So today I’m asking you! Finances—How do you make it work? No, really, I’m asking, how do you make it work? Especially fellow parents! How do you make it work financially with young children?
This has been the hardest year financially for my wife and I. It’s not too far off to say we have literally gone broke having kids. We just recently used up all of our bank account savings and have little money in our checking account + some credit card debt. The credit cards were not used on anything luxurious either. It was spending $500 more than we had every month for the last two to three years since Emerson was born—always thinking we were going to get back on top the next month but then the need for new tires, or a dentist visit, or car or house repair would eat it all up. We do have a house, and for this we are definitely #blessed.
Evangeline just started kindergarten which means one less kid to pay for, but realistically there is nothing I can do for work to pay for childcare, which costs $20,000+ a year. Likewise, if I stay at home, we also don’t make quite enough money. The biggest thing we’ve done that seems to work is for us is to work opposite schedules, like where Cat works in the day and I work late at night or on weekends. But that’s hard because there is not much room for family time or days off. Last winter I literally worked every weekend and holiday, and it was pretty miserable.
When Evangeline started kindergarten this past fall, I thought it would be a good chance for me to rejoin the workforce. I was going crazy at home, and I thought it was better for my mental health to be out in society, rather than trapped at home all winter with a toddler. So we put Emerson in daycare two days a week, my mom came down to watch her one day, and we found a nanny for some other hours.
After all this I made maybe $500 extra in income a week (or 1 trip to Costco) working 30-35 hours a week.
Then there was the Portland Teacher’s strike this past November, which meant I had to take days off work, unpaid, or pay a nanny to come watch Emerson and Evangeline. I either had to work and find childcare for both girls (which made me negative $) or stay home and make $0. I made $25 an hour and we paid the nanny $23 an hour. It’s a bit demoralizing to realize you made $16 profit after working a full day of work and paying the nanny. We could budget better, sure, and for the last two weeks we have not gone out to eat or ordered take out even once. The financial stress is causing me to question whether I should give up working at all until Emerson is in Elementary school. I could change careers or go back to school but that’s also going to take a minute for us to make up cash flow. We would be even worse off were it not for the amazing family we have close to us—especially my mom and sister-in-law.
Now let me make it clear—I think nannies and daycares should be charging the amount they are. They do the hard, good work of caretaking that all of us parents are grateful for. Our daughters’ caretakers over the years have been incredible and also provide something unique in their care that children won’t get from just Mom and Dad. It also doesn’t make the childcare workers rich. So what’s the deal? Childcare in the U.S. is known as a classic market failure. The services cost too much to provide for customers and the there is no profit for the childcare centers or great pay for the workers. So, really, the government needs to subsidize childcare, like other wealthy nations do. But this country has been historically unwilling to do so. This is also a gender inequality issue because it often forces women to give up careers or
Because even with going to elementary school, If both parents work you gotta find aftercare because school gets out at 2:30. What do you do for that? Am I crazy and underprepared? Or why does no one talk about this? I think things have changed since we were kids yes? How do I get one of those remote tech jobs that pay a gajillion dollars?
So please, comment below. I need your advice and would love to hear any and all creative ways people find to make it all work!
Here’s to you and yours, hoping you are not stressing financially this Holiday season.
Man, I feel you. It’s insane. It’s not sustainable. We were paying a babysitter $24/hr to watch Thomas part time last year so that I could work enough hours as a contractor. I was fortunate to have a job that I could work remotely, that paid enough, and an employer that was flexible with my schedule.
What has saved our finances and our relationship is the little childcare cooperative that we found here on the island. It’s only part time, and it requires some time from us each week as a parent volunteer in the classroom, but it makes child care so much more affordable—it roughly works out to $10.50/hr.
If there’s a co-op group in your area, I strongly recommend checking it out, and if not, see if there’s a group of parents in your neighborhood that might be interested in starting one. It’s a lot of work, but it has been critical for us in not just providing safe, reliable, affordable child care, but also resources and community support.