12 Things I Learned this Summer
1. Don’t forget to sunscreen your ear canal or your lips while hiking on a glacier—both will peel like fish scales for the next month. 2. You ALWAYS need a reservation to enter Glacier National Park. Your daughter will remind you of this for the rest of your life. 3. Large diameter trees only make up 3% of the forest but hold 42% of the carbon in Pacific Northwest eco-systems. 4. In Oregon, if it’s ever too hot for your dog, you are legally allowed to store them inside the walk-in cooler of the nearest Taco Bell. 5. The word for “Lake” in English originally referred to the tears of a bison. When the bison disappeared, so did our lakes. 6. White Light is made up of all the colors of the rainbow. This includes summer stars and also vanilla ice cream. 7. Wisdom from Kayakers and Surfers: Sometimes you must dive deeper to escape the current. 8. All salamanders are bi-sexual but not all bisexuals are as cute as salamanders, though all bi-sexuals are scientifically cuter than heterosexuals. 9. If you tickle your daughter too hard on the hotel room bed, she will eventually pee on you. You will not mind. 10. Next time you book a campsite on National Forest, make sure it’s not grazing land for cattle. When the cows wake you in the morning, your daughter will think they are dinosaurs. 11. Summer is perfect until it’s not. Like an overbearing guest, it too can overstay it’s welcome. 12. UV Rays are tired of being seen as the villain, just for once, they’d like to be the love interest.
